Sea Monkeys and Other Drivel

Something I forgot to mention: I joke a lot about Sea Monkeys at work, so my co-workers bought me some for Christmas. So now my desk proudly displays a small tank of water bugs. Yea me! They are actually rather ugly little critters. They are still quite small but growing. I don't have to lean real close and squint any more.

ING.com...good stuff.

I haven't posted any Gleemax stuff to this particular blog in awhile, but it is still going...well, maybe not strong, but it is still going.

The House Hunting should begin soon. Updates to follow...someday...

Pre-Tweens

(A Gleemax Post)

I’m going to group 10- and 11-year olds together mostly because, since my oldest is only nine, I have very little experience here. I have worked with Cub Scouts of this age before, so there is some things to pass along. This will be the final age group that I will specifically look at, so I can start moving into other areas.

May be experiencing rapid growth. Enjoys sports that require strength, speed, and skill. Has periods of playing, pushing, wrestling, poking, and giggling. Is restless, active, and impatient. May differ from peers in physical size and coordination. Does not like to be treated like a child. Is concerned about physical appearance.

Enjoys abstract concepts and ideas. Makes conclusions based on prior learning. Likes to be challenged in mental tasks. Is decisive and reasonable. Enjoys memorization. Likes to set goals. Thinks more logically. Enjoys learning. Has a good attention span. Understands more precisely the meaning of words, and can define abstract terms. Has humor that may seem ridiculous to adults.

Is social and competitive. Possesses strong loyalty to groups. Has much positive and negative interaction with peers. Has friendships that are more complex and intense. Relies on best friends. Values peers’ opinions and standards more highly than those of adults. Is sometimes critical of adults’ judgments and of others’ feelings. Likes to tease or play roughly. Is sometimes rude and uncooperative, and at other times is friendly and cooperative.

Is critical of self and resentful of others’ criticism. May feel that everything he or she does is wrong, especially if criticized. Has worries and fears about school and friends. Is very sensitive, especially about self. Has doubts and insecurities. Is sometimes touchy and irritable, and is very conscious of being treated fairly. Is able to be polite, serious, honest, and sincere. Desires to be independent and have responsibilities.

Suggestions for gaming:

Recognize that he or she is growing and maturing. Do not force interaction with the opposite sex. Provide opportunities for him or her to participate in physical activities that provide outlets for his or her energy. Teach fairness and the value of social and competitive gaming.

Stimulate thinking by using questions, memorization, and problem-solving games. Allow him or her to make decisions and set their own strategy and goals.

Respond to the need to belong to groups and be influenced by them – helping them run their own gaming group can provide a great feeling of belonging. It provides an activity that allows interaction with peers. Encourage group planning and group work. Teach him or her to be sensitive to those who are not accepted by others – there is value in inviting others to play. Give responsibilities and assignments, and help ensure follow-through.

From what little I’ve dealt with before, I am looking forward to working with my own kids to continue developing their gaming skills, to include organizing their own group (which may just end up growing beyond their own little group of friends) and the confidence to try the more grown-up strategy and role-playing games. I can also see it as a bit of a sad time as my children move from being “kids” to being “youths”. They grow up fast and I have to take the time to enjoy who they are now. They will be surly teenagers before I realize it; p

Cloud Nine

(A Gleemax Post)

Being nine must be rough at times. Social pressures are really starting to bear down on kids this age. Not to say that social pressures weren’t there before, but by the time 3rd and 4th grades (in the USA) roll around, social hierarchies are starting to really take shape. Kids are trying to figure out where they fit in the pecking order of school. Gaming can help a child feel like a part of a group if that might be missing elsewhere in life. Or, if they are already part of a group (or a leader of one) gaming can help them socialize with others from different social circles. So here we go with the general characteristics of nine-year olds:

Enjoys team games. Has good body control. Is interested in developing strength, skill, and speed. Likes more complicated crafts and handwork.

Is able to remain interested in subjects or activities for a longer period of time. Seeks facts. Likes memorization. Has definite interests and curiosity. Likes reading, writing, and keeping records. Is interested in the community and other cultures and peoples. Enjoys learning about the past and the present. Likes to collect things.

Enjoys being with groups of people of the same gender. Likes group adventures and cooperative play, but also likes competition. Tests authority and exercises independence. Spends much time with friends.

Has some behavior problems, especially if he or she is not accepted by others. Is becoming very independent, dependable, and trustworthy. Is concerned about being fair, and argues over fairness. Is better able to accept his or her own failures and mistakes and take responsibility for personal actions. Is sometimes silly.

Is well aware of right and wrong. Wants to do right, but sometimes rebels. Is greatly influenced by others.

Suggestions:

Provide a variety of activities, including team games, to sustain interest and help the child develop skills.

Give specific information and facts about the rules. They want to understand how the game WORKS, not necessarily just how to play.

Do not give all the answers and strategies; allow the child time to think about and discuss answers.

Playing games about other peoples and cultures and about history can really spark their interest.

Recognize the child’s need for peer acceptance. Establish and maintain reasonable limits, but allow for independence. Teach the child how to be gracious, even when the child feels that he or she has not won. No one is ever too old to learn good sportsmanship.

Mary is our nine-year old and our oldest child. Although I had worked with younger kids prior to her birth, she was the first real experience I had with being involved with a kid on a daily basis. It was a learning experience for both of us.

Mary is a very “take charge” type of person who loves to lead games and activities. She can usually be found leading her younger siblings in a play they made up for us adults, or gathering everyone together for a board game. Then again, I often find my D&D miniatures and maps spread out across the floor (and sometimes into the hallway) so she can play “house” with them. It is quite strange to see Meepo the Dragonlord wandering across the landscape with the Warden of the Woods to go visit their friends Celestial Pegasus and Bluespawn Godslayer (with an occasional side trek to tell the various undead figures to play nice).

Although she is a gamer at heart, Mary is a lot like me when it comes to actually playing. She would rather play a game to socialize than to be completely intent on winning. Sure, she likes to win, but no longer feels emotionally devastated when she loses – as long as everyone has fun, she is having fun. Of course, there are those times when she is overly bossy during games…reminds me of the Paranoid RPG: “Happiness is Mandatory!”

It is a little hard for me to pick out Mary’s favorite games. I think it would be safe to say that her favorite is whichever one she is currently playing. Be that as it may, she loves to play D&D (role-playing and minis) and, having recently developed a love of horses, the “game” of Bella Sara (which is mostly about trading card collecting). Other than that, she loves to play just about anything else – to the point of making something up if there is nothing else around.

Great to Be Eight

(A Gleemax Blog)

Eight-year olds are great. In my culture, this is the age of accountability – the age when a child is fully aware of knowing right from wrong. They are no longer “little kids”; they have become “big kids.” It’s an amazing time of life. Here are some brief characteristics:

Is becoming more coordinated. Wiggles and squirms. Has nervous habits. Plays organized games that require physical skill. Has a good attention span. Wants to be included.

Wants to know the reason for things. Is anxious to share his or her knowledge. Thinks he or she knows a lot, but is beginning to recognize that others may know even more. Is judgmental. Has heroes. Enjoys writing, reading, and pretending.

Enjoys group play with simple rules. Prefers to be with own gender in group play. Is more cooperative and less insistent on having his or her own way. Wants to have a best friend. Has a strong need for independence, but also relies on adults for guidance and security.

Is usually affectionate, helpful, cheerful, outgoing, and curious, but can also be rude, selfish, bossy, and demanding. Is sensitive to criticism. Criticizes self and others. Is sometimes giggly and silly. Experiences guilt and shame.

Suggestions:

Use games that require coordination and allow the child to use his or her energy. Be patient with clumsiness, unpleasant habits, and squirming. Alternate quiet and active periods.

Use games, stores, pictures, and problem-solving activities to encourage learning. Use reading, writing, and role-playing. Help the child set realistic goals. Encourage the child to be more concerned about his or her own behavior than that of others. Provide the child with appropriate heroes.

Provide opportunities for group interaction, cooperation, and sharing. Recognize that his or her friendships can be intense. Help the child become part of the group if he or she does not have close friends. Let the child work with other children and with you to make group rules and other decisions. Allow him or her to work independently.

Help the child recognize and deal constructively with negative emotions. Show interest and enthusiasm. Praise and build self-confidence; do not criticize or compare the child with other children. Recognize the child’s efforts and accomplishments. Let the child enjoy humor when appropriate, and be patient with giggling. Teach him or her that others make mistakes.

There is a lot to be said about unstructured playtime. As an experiment, let the child make up his or her own game rules and just see what happens. Honestly, it most likely won’t be balanced or fair, but it helps stretch their imaginations and creativity. I am constantly seeing my kids making up their own rules. Perhaps you could work with your child to develop some rules together…just don’t dominate the conversation.

Seventh Heaven

(A Gleemax Post)

A threshold has been crossed! Seven-year olds are still full of life but have a much greater skill set (physical and mental). Sometime around this age, kids reach what some child development literature calls the “Age of Reason.” It has been my experience that at sometime around this age, children really begin to bloom into what can honestly be called a “gamer”; sometimes it happens sooner, sometimes later. While roll-and-move games still abound, there begins to be an obvious branching out. They are starting to look for more in their games. It’s enough to warm the cockles of a gamer’s heart (what exactly are those anyway?). So, in a very general sort of way, here is a summary of seven-year olds (remember that each individual develops at a different pace in different areas – this list isn’t meant to compare one kid to another):

Has better muscular control. Is developing interest and skills in certain games, hobbies, and activities. Gets restless and fidgety. Has nervous habits, and sometimes assumes awkward positions. Is full of energy, but tires easily.

Is eager to learn. Thinks seriously and more logically. Is able to solve problems that are more complex. Likes to be challenged, work hard, and take time completing a task. Has a good attention span. Enjoys hobbies and using skills. Likes to collect things and talk about personal projects and accomplishments.

Often plays in groups, but sometimes likes to be alone and play quietly. Interacts little with the opposite sex. Is eager to be like peers and have their approval. Is less domineering and less determined to have his or her own way. Likes more responsibility and independence. Is often worried about not doing well.

Dislikes criticism. Is more sensitive to his or her own feelings and those of other people. Is often a perfectionist, and tends to be self-critical. Is inhibited and cautious. Is less impulsive and self-centered than at earlier stages.

Suggestions:

Use action games that allow the child to use his or her energy. Just sitting still at a table or on the floor isn’t going to work. Trust me. Be patient (notice that I’ve mentioned this in every post so far?) with annoyances and restlessness.

In role-playing games, ask thought-provoking questions instead of just telling a story yourself. Allow the child to make major decisions.

Give him or her plenty to time to think and accomplish tasks. This goes for any game. If you rush it, frustration can set in easily and the enjoyment (for both child and adult) quickly goes downhill. On the other hand, help them get over any “move-paralysis” with kindness in mind – meaning, don’t lean in real close and shout at the top of your lungs, “IT DOESN’T MATTER! JUST MOVE SOMETHING ALREADY!” Doing this will end up just as badly as it does with adults.

Encourage the child to pursue hobbies and interests. There are going to be some things that just don’t grab the child’s attention. As difficult as it may be to cope with, one of those things might be certain types of games. Find what he or she likes THEN find a game to supplement it. Don’t underestimate the power of theme.

Give the child responsibilities and tasks that he or she can carry out (such as being the banker or drawing the map or whatever other little tasks there might be), and then praise efforts and accomplishments. Don’t overlook this – it might be a little thing for you, but it is a very “grown-up” thing for them. Give them a chance to use those skills they are learning (or should be learning) in school. Again, patience pays off.

Isaiah is seven. He is about as boy-like as you can imagine. He loves to be physical; swinging “sword” sticks, wrestling, running, and generally any sport or activity that allows him to show off his physical strength. On the mental side, he is starting to be very analytical; figuring out puzzles in the Legend of Zelda games, doing puzzles, drawing, and hugely into make-believe as evidenced by his using the figures from the Star Wars: Epic Duals game to battle it out on the 3D board from his sisters’ copy of Mall Madness (sigh, yes, we do own that game). One of the most surprising moments with him was when I was running all my kids through a hack-n-slash D&D game (no real plot, just take out the monsters). Completely out of the blue he pipes up with: “Why do we have to fight all the time? Can’t we talk to them?” And this is from the kid who always picks the mini with the biggest sword. I tried to hide wiping the tear from my eye as the thought went through my head that my little boy is growing up.

He is very capable of playing a lot of the more “grown-up” games, such as Settlers of Catan, Modern Art (although strategy completely eludes him at this point), Carcassonne, and others. They are not favorites, but he always asks to play one of the several games that have long been denied to him (due to my desire to keep all the pieces in one box). He loves to experiment and try new games…but the theme of the game drives most of his decisions.

Some of Isaiah’s favorite games (see if you can detect a theme here) are: Star Wars: Epic Duals, Star Wars: The Queen’s Gambit, Star Wars: Starship miniatures, Legend of Zelda for the Nintendo, Heroscape, Hero Quest, Dungeons and Dragons (the old basic set, not any of the newer versions), Pokemon (doesn’t really care for playing the game, he just likes looking at the cards) and I’m sure if we ever got a game that had anything to do with Avatar: The Last Airbender, it would shoot to the top of the list.

Now We Are Six

(A Gleemax Post)

There are a lot of similarities between five and six-year olds as far as gaming choices. However, there are also some important changes in development (memory and attention span being the major ones) and some kids are starting to organize their world (or starting to see their world organized as the case may be). Again, this is just a high-level overview, so please do not be insulted if this doesn’t match your experiences/expectations.

Is very active. Is often noisy, restless, and exuberant. Likes to participate in activities and perform small tasks, though they still may be difficult to do. Dislikes being a spectator.

Needs concepts taught in concrete ways. Has improving memory. Is talkative, and asks many questions. Is learning to make decisions, but often is indecisive. Has an increasing attention span. Likes reading, writing, singing, hearing stories, and pretending.

Is more interested in group activities and interacting with playmates, but is still self-centered. Is sometimes bossy, aggressive, and unkind to peers. Has unstable friendships. Is concerned with how others treat him or her. Is eager for social approval.

Is boastful. Exaggerates and criticizes. Is easily excited, silly, and giggly. Can be generous, affectionate, and compatible, but mood can change easily.

Is concerned with good and bad behavior, particularly as it affects family and friends Sometimes blames others for wrongdoing.

Suggestions for gaming:

Be patient with the child’s abundant energy and restlessness. Play games that have activities such as writing, coloring, cutting, pasting, and molding clay – games that allow the child to use his or her energy (the Cranium Cadoo game jumps immediately to mind).

Pick games with the child’s interests in mind, which will not necessarily be the same as yours – come on, suck it up and take one for the team.

Use pictures, maps, flannel cutouts, miniatures, and other visual materials to help focus attention when role-playing where attention may wander without something physical to look at/hold/fold/spindle/mutilate (of course, there is the likely danger of attention focusing completely on the handout and not the storyline – make sure to give them time to really LOOK at things, i.e. let ‘em play with it).

Introduce them to games other than the roll-and-move type; those that allow the child to make decisions are what you should be looking for. Discuss the importance of choosing the right strategy (but don’t overdo it – just introduce the idea), and allow the child to practice making decisions with limited choices.

Cooperative games can provide a safe environment to play and have fun together without the child feeling picked upon.

Praise the child’s specific efforts so he or she feels less need to boast. Do not criticize. Laugh with him or her, but do not laugh at him or her. Encourage positive moods by setting an example for playing with calm, stable behavior (save the “smack-talk” for other adults – even if it is intended as good-natured, it can sometimes be hard for children to know the difference); be a good loser AND (sometimes more importantly) a good winner. Future gamers everywhere will thank you for raising someone with good sportsmanship.

Show the child how to be concerned with and responsible for his or her own game play and how to improve it (again, PLEASE don’t overdo this!). Help them identify good moves, but let them play their own game – let them experiment and then discuss specifics (good and bad) later. Assure the child that everyone makes mistakes.

This is a weird age/stage where a child is a bit “in-between” so-to-speak. They may be capable of playing more “advanced” games, but they find a simple joy in their old favorites. My kids found comfort in repetition, whereas us adults tended to find it mind numbing and a bit aggravating. Be patient. I’ve believe that they are on the cusp of a Great Leap Forward (meaning gaming opportunities for the child and not the economic disaster led by Mao Zedong in 1950s China). Be patient and understand that you are laying the groundwork and a strong foundation for a lifetime of gaming goodness.

Johnny Five is Alive!

(A Gleemax Post)

Bad 80s movie quotes aside, let’s start off with five-year olds. What a great time of life! Their world is starting to get bigger and more wonderful and, sometimes, even a little bit scarier. This is a very high-level overview of five-year olds and is not meant to perfectly describe every child, since no two people are exactly the same. And yes, I understand your child is gifted and has advanced much further than what is described here. Humor me anyway...

Is very active. Has a good sense of balance, and is becoming more coordinated. Can kick a ball, walk in a straight line, hop, skip, and march. Enjoys drawing, coloring, and participating in activities and games. Is learning to lace and tie shoes and button and zip clothing.

Recognizes some letters, numbers, and words. Likes to pretend to read and write. May be learning to read. Is talkative. Ask questions, makes comments, and gives answers that show increased understanding. Is good at problem solving. Is curious and eager for facts. Is beginning to distinguish truth from fantasy. Has a short but increasing attention span. Likes definite tasks. Enjoys jokes and tricks, but cannot laugh at himself or herself. Likes stories, singing, poetry, and dramatizations.

Is friendly and eager to please and cooperate. Is beginning to prefer being in small groups of children, but may prefer a best friend. Creates less conflict in group play. Is beginning to want to conform, and is critical of those who do not. Is beginning to understand rules, but often tries to change them for his or her benefit.

Centers interests on home and family. Is affectionate towards adults, and wants to please them. Gets embarrassed easily, especially by his or her own mistakes.

Wants to be good. Is learning the difference between right and wrong. Sometimes tells untruths or blames others for his or her own wrongdoings because of an intense desire to please adults and do what is right.

What does this mean as far as playing games?

Engage the child in physical activities. Who said all games have to be played at the table? Bodies are wonderful things…give them an opportunity to use it. At the game table, being able to touch and move game pieces can be a big attention getter/keeper. Find games that “show” action and movement.

Allow the child to ask questions and solve problems. Jigsaw puzzles (although not technically games) might fit the bill. Warning: riddles and problems that are excruciatingly simple for adults may prove to be very difficult for a five-year old. Make the answers extremely obvious so they have lots of practice with the concept of finding solutions on their own.

Role-play! What a great time to “play pretend!” Kids haven’t had years of inhibitions and peer pressure to hold them back. This is a perfectly natural extension to what the child already does. You just provide a VERY light framework of rules (VERY LIGHT…got it?) And this is not the time for Lord of the Rings epic stories here. Take a look at the length of most fairy tales. Depending on the size of the font, 2-3 pages tell the whole story. Short and simple.

Be sensitive to the child’s need for your approval. Cooperative games can go a long ways towards avoiding any hurt feelings. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that competitive games will prepare them for the Real World. We’re talking five-year olds here. The Real World will crush their fragile spirits soon enough when they’re teenagers. For now, let them have fun. (Notice I’m not saying, “Always let them win” – it’s a fine line between “loved” and “spoiled”. Game wisely.)

Games in the USA for this age group seem to focus on games such as Candyland, HiHo Cherry-O, Chutes and Ladders, and Cooties. I suppose those games have a time and place. But you have to admit they are a bit dull. For adults. The key to success in gaming, then, is to follow the lead of fairy tales – keep it short. That is my biggest problem with the above-mentioned games; bad luck can make them drag on FOR…E…VER. Luck-based mechanics are fine and even somewhat desirable – they tend to even out the adult/child skill gap. But look for games that don’t overly delay the end of the game because of bad luck.

Unless the child was very involved in games prior to this point, learning how to wait for your next turn can be a challenge. Be patient. Also, they won’t always pick out the best strategy (sometimes on purpose). That is okay. In fact, don’t even worry about strategy at this age. Let them play completely randomly if they want. Let them experiment. Be patient. And keep it short (have I mentioned that yet?).

Rebekah is our five-year old. She loves to be involved in games even if she doesn’t understand what is going on. There is a tendency for us (as her parents) to suggest for her to “be on someone’s team” (meaning: sit next to them but not really play) when we play games too advanced for her – but she is of the age where she really wants to have her own color/team/cards/whatever. Some of her favorite kid games include: Snails Pace Race, Chicken Cha-Cha (known by many other names – we have a DragonTales themed one), Kids of Catan, Monopoly Junior (it’s not a bad game (i.e. short) if played by the rules, honestly), Faery’s Tale RPG, Shadows RPG, a variety of “mini games” in the Mario Party series for the Nintendo, and good ol’ fashioned Hide & Seek.

Congratulations! Your Wife Just Had a Gamer!

(A Gleemax Post)

Childhood. It's a time when we start developing the talents, hobbies, and interests that stick with us throughout our lives. Sure, we develop other pastimes and our tastes change as we grow, but many of our childhood favorites stick with us. I know it has for me. I have very distinct memories of opening my parent's game closet at the top of the stairs and looking over the stack of cardboard, paper, and plastic goodness contained within. I would spend countless hours risking it all in global wars, patenting silly inventions, and wandering the barbaric countryside as a dispossessed prince.

So when the question comes up of why we, as adults, should play games with children, I can point to my own experience and say "Why not?" After all, no matter if you're a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling, caregiver, mentor, or whatever, there is no better way to have a kid think you are the most awesome (or whatever word is used nowadays) person ever than to spend time playing with them. I don't expect to always be the best friend of my children – after all, I AM their father and a lot of times I have to act like it – but I want them to know that I not only love them because they are my genetic offspring, but that I like them enough as individuals to spend my ever decreasing free time with them.

I suppose that since this is my first blog entry, I should introduce myself at this point. Hi, my name is Steve. I'm in my mid-thirties...and all that implies. I have a college degree in anthropology (I'm still trying to figure out why). I work for a local utility company and would be considered an "economically-challenged" gamer (although things are in the works that might change all of that). My wife and I are approaching the eleven year mark of our Happily Ever After and are busy with our five greatest works-in-progress: our children. You'll get to know them better as time goes on since this blog is about gaming with kids and they are, in fact, the kids I game with.

Yes indeed, a blog about playing games with kids. Why? Because those of us who grew up with tabletop games instead of video games (long before personal computers were a feature of middle-class America, and when they did become available...text adventures!) are now producing these little balls of chaos. They will grow up with such a huge variety of choices that it's nice to know we are not alone in this daunting task of raising children and, perhaps, providing them with quality entertainment along the way.

"Children" or "kids" can (and does) imply a large range of age groups, from newborns (where the gaming opportunities are understandably limited) to...what? At what age do they stop being "children"? For the purposes of this blog, I have arbitrarily chosen the ages between 5 and 11. Five, because my middle child is five years old; it is the age when they start kindergarten (at least in my area of the world). Eleven, because my cultural bias places 12-year olds at the beginning of the category labeled "youths".

Before I go any further, I want to make it very clear that I am not holding myself up as some kind of expert or authority. I have five kids. That means I know what those five kids like and how they respond to various things. Your experiences may be similar, or wildly different. There is a lot I can learn from you (yes, I'm looking right at YOU!), so I would prefer not to just sit here monologuing. Ask questions, provide comments, and indulge in opinions. Gleemax is about social networking...so let’s socialize! Without feedback, it is highly likely that I will run out of interesting things to say (some of you might be thinking, "Too late!"...Oh well).

Here is a short-term road map of where my next few posts will go: I would like to first start off with looking at the characteristics of the age groups we are talking about. See what makes them tick and how we might harness that with gaming. Reviews of children games will be somewhat limited; I'll do ones for the games I already own, but the financial situation puts a damper on new purchases for a while. Ideas on balancing kid-time with adult-time with personal-time (a topic near and dear to my heart). Looking at the various game types (board, RPG, online, video, outdoor/physical) and how that all fits into a modern childhood. There are lots of topics to cover; and we are just getting started...

“Girls and boys, come out to play,
the moon doth shine as bright as day,
Leave your supper and leave your sleep,
And come with your playfellows into the street.
Come with a whoop or come with a call,
Come with a goodwill or not at all.”

Welcome to Gleemax

Gleemax Blog

A little while ago, I mentioned that I would be doing a blog about gaming with kids for the new Gleemax site. Don't bother going there now - the official site isn't open to the public yet...it's currently in a pre-alpha stage, which means there is very little functionality and very buggy. Anyway, I'll probably just duplicate my posts over here, mostly because they will probably be lost in the mass of...stuff that is there now, at least until they get things a little more organized. It really is quite chaotic at the moment. So expect about one a week starting tomorrow.