Does This Mean I'm Only a 1/3 of a Man?

Of the 30 Days to a Better Man project, I made it (kinda-sorta) 10 days. I just have too many other thing to distract me to stay focused on one thing for too long. I'm like a magpie: "Ooo! Shiny!" and off I go in a different direction. It can be a little agravating at times, but there it is.

I suppose I could go back and make more catch-up posts, but that doesn't really interest me at the moment. I read through the tasks for the other days, and while there were some good ones, I'm ready to move on with life.

"So," I can hear you saying, "what, exactly, has been monopolizing your attention this past month?" Several things:

• A board game called BattleTech - giant fighting robots, huzzah!
• Trying to brainstorm ways to get in better shape without actually having to do anything (I'll let you know if I come up with any good ideas)
• A scattering of religious topics - mostly revolving on things I should and need to improve upon in my life
• I finished reading Robinson Crusoe and gearing up for Huckleberry Finn
• The Fourth of July is coming up and I'm planning on, yet again, being a right-wing extremist rabblerouser

I'm sure there were others, but either they didn't catch my attention long enough for me to remember a week or so later. Go figure.

Day 10: Memorize "If"

I've never been real good with memorization (tolerable, but not what I would call "good") and this particular poem, while very manly, is somewhat long. Guess I'm going to have to "man up" and start with the memorization. This will certainly take me longer than one day...

“If”
By: Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

Day 9: Take a Woman on a Date

(I haven't been in the writing mood lately...hence the short, and late, posts)

Leslie and I already had a date of sorts scheduled for this Saturday, but I asked her for a date anyway. We're planning on going out this Thursday as well. It'll be nice for her to get away from the kids (one cranky two-year old in particular) for a bit.

Day 8: Start a Journal

Ta da! How convenient that I just recently blogged about something very similar. I'm marking this one done!

Day 7: Reconnect With an Old Friend

(another backdated post...)

This one didn't happen either. I spent the day reading and teaching my son how to play the BattleTech board game. Giant Fighting Robots! Woohoo! I'd much rather connect with my son than reconnect with an old friend. Besides, finding some of those people has proven downright difficult over the years.

Day 6: Update Your Resume

(Catching up from the weekend - yeah, I'm backdating these...)

I know my resume needs some spiffing up. But I just didn't have/take the time to work on it this weekend. It's a project for another day. In the meantime, here is my pseudo-resume on linkedin.com: http://www.linkedin.com/in/sbwilson

Day 5: Cultivate Your Gratitude

This is a two part process. First make a list of the ten things you're grateful for and then give three thank yous to three different people.

I am thankful for:

1. My children being well-behaved in public.
2. My job - as much as I complain about it, I don't have to bring it home with me, I get to go home at 3PM, I have a pretty decent amount of autonomy, and it means I don't have to be out job hunting.
3. My wife who is also my best friend.
4. My religious beliefs that keep me striving to be a better man.
5. My grandparents who left me a substantial inheritance.
6. A house that is nearly paid for (see #5).
7. My health...it could be much, much worse.
8. Being a man. Seriously. I'm glad I'm a guy.
9. My love of music and the ability to occasionally express it.
10. My love of games of all kinds. Even if I often lose.

Day 4: Increase Your Testosterone

First off, there was a list of things to do that would naturally increase your testosterone and we were to pick three and do them today. I'm not going to bother listing what I actually did, but the whole idea intrigued me.

Why would I want to increase my testosterone? It makes sense (but not something I ever thought about before) that it naturally decreases as a man ages. I was curious about it and went out on the web looking for stuff on testosterone levels. Holy smokes. You'd think that this was some kind of apocalypse for some guys. I mean, come on....MANopause? Give me a break.

On the other hand, a low level of testosterone might explain some things in life (lack of drive/passion over any one subject, putting on weight around the middle, loss of muscle tone, etc.), but I don't really want to know what my "T" level is. If it's too low, does that make me less of a man? I spent too much of my high school years being called gay; I don't think my ego could take the scientific equivilent. And I certainly wouldn't go in for any kind of hormone treatment. To me, that just seems to be messing with things that shouldn't be messed with. I've heard horror stories about women on hormone treatment. No thanks. I'll pass.

I'll just stick with the natural methods of raising my T-levels. Seems healthier by far.

Day 3: Find a Mentor

...and I thought shining my shoes was something I didn't enjoy.

Here's the thing: I don't make friends easily. And when I do, they are usually women. There just aren't many guys that I enjoy being around. I'm not a rabid sports fan. I don't drink, cuss, or smoke. I'm married with 5 kids. I don't enjoy talking about cars, or construction projects, or other "manly" type activites. The things I do enjoy (games, dressing well, religion, self-depreciating humor, making snarky comments about life in general, etc.) has, in the past, found me interacting with someone who is too focused on that one thing - usually to the detriment of actually being a person anyone would want to be around.

Being as I don't really care about my job to find a mentor there (I'm actually a part of my company's official "Mentoring Program" where I am the actual mentor...nothing like forced mentoring...ugg) and I'm not in school anymore for an academic mentor (something I probably should have sought out back in the day), I guess this really falls into the realm of finding a guy with whom I can consciously develop a friendship.

The best place for me to start looking for that is at church. My perception, perhaps mistakenly, is that everyone else is much busier than I am. For example, we have a lot of medical professionals/students at my church. In fact, one of the guys that first jumped to mind is doing his residency at one of the busiest hospitals here in town. He's a great guy, has a young family (2 kids I believe), spiritually minded, enjoys playing games when he has the time (based on an earlier conversation we had), and is likely insanely busy.

So, what am I to do? Well, just a few minutes ago, I shot Jason (the fellow in question) an email asking if he has the time to get together for lunch every once in awhile (we work within a fairly close distance to each other). I have no idea if he will be able to do this (and I know my finances for eating out is quite limited), but at least it is a step in the right direction.

Day 2: Shine Your Shoes

Ugg. I don't really hate shining shoes, but it certainly isn't one of my more favorite activities. I was in the military, but I got some of the other guys to shine my boots for me. In exchange, I folded their t-shirts. Nowadays, I shine my Sunday shoes somewhere around 2-4 times a year. Yes, a year. Looks like that time has approached again.

This is what I started with:

The black ones are actually my Basic Military Training issue shoes from well over 15 years ago. The brown ones are my daily go-to-work shoes that I've had for about a year and never polished them. Obviously. Here is the progress I made on them:








They turned out a little darker that I expected, but overall I'm fairly pleased with the results. Now for my black "Sunday shoes" (which have been severely abused over the past few years - I never stripped the old polish off...what you see is 15+ years of accumulated build-up).





Can you guess which one I did first?





Now, compare the completed set with the first picture:







All this was done in about an hour and a half (I wasn't really paying attention to the time as I was sitting on the back porch watching my kids play in the yard). And I used only the following items that came in a kit I bought from Walmart.

30 Days to a Better Man: Day 1

One of my favorite sites online is called The Art of Manliness. During the month of June, they are doing a series of posts called 30 Days to a Better Man, which gives a task each day of the month to improve yourself as a man. Day 1 consists of Defining Your Core Values.

I ended up taking several lists that I had always had floating around in the back of my head (from books, Boy Scouts, military, etc.) and combined them, whittled them down, and prioritized the top five to get my Core Values. While I was doing this, part of the exercise was to do it with an eye of what is important to you as a Man. Overall, I'm happy with the list; each one could be broken out into several separate ones, but I think the essesence of the ideas are there.

I have to admit, this was not overly easy for me. I'm probably more shiftless than I care to admit...but that is what this is suppose to help me overcome, right? Many of the values on my initial list were not exactly values that I have, but rather values I though I should have.

Core Values That are Important to Me as a Man

1. Show my faith by my actions - a Man can talk about what he believes in all he wants, but unless his actions back it up, it doesn't mean squat.
2. Honesty - A liar just isn't a Man. Period.
3. Loyalty to my family and friends - Should a Man ever be ashamed of his family or friends? Not if he wants to have either for very long.
4. Thrifty - Having the self-control to be able to ask and answer truthful, "I want it, but can I afford it?" and "I can afford it, but do I need it?"
5. Forward-looking - You don't drive a car by constantly looking in the rearview mirror; a Man doesn't live his life by dwelling on past successes or failures.

So there they are. Here's to developing/stregthening these values in myself!