The Modern Procrustean Bed

One rather obscure Greek legend deals with Theseus (ya know, the guy who used a ball of string to find his way out of the labyrinth after killing the minotaur who lived in it) and a bandit by the name of Procrustes. Procrustes had a bed that fit him perfectly - and he thought everyone should be just as perfect. So whenever anyone would come by, he would capture them and tie them to his bed. If that person was too short, Procrustes would stretch them until they fit; if the "guest" was too long, Procrustes would cut off an appropriate amount from the legs. Thus, "perfection" (i.e. conformity) was achieved...well, until Theseus came along and killed him, that is.

It seems in our world today, there are far too many who would take up the mantle of Procrustes and attempt to make everyone the same. It doesn't seem to matter if the process is painful, tortuous, or downright barbaric, as long as everyone fits the same standards. Fortunately, these Procrustean wannabes don't normally resort to physical mutilation. That would be too blantant and the people would rebel immediately. Unfortunately, we have to deal with the more subtle aspects of the Bed of Procrustes: Multiculturalism, political correctness, moral relativism, etc.

Too many people (and I'm not just talking about politicians here - although they can be among the most visible proponents of this way of thinking) apply their pre-conceived notions about how I should act and think, because that is the way they act and think. They do this through the redefining of words and concepts (such as "family", "modesty", "conservative", to name a few), revising history (the demonizing of the American founding fathers for example), denying the existence of evil, believing faith and reason are mutually exclusive, ignoring some laws while enforcing those that are currently popular, and (and this may seem odd coming from a self-defined champion of individuality) praising extreme individualism over duty to others and commitment to a set of values.

If you don't fit these ideas, you obviously must be blind, stupid, ignorant, out of touch, oppressive, repressive, regressive, unacceptable, unsociable, unhappy, a misogynist, and a kicker of small puppies. 

Yes, the spirit of Procrustes is alive and well.

But I refuse to just make this post about pointless complaining. I refuse to bow before the pressures of modern culture. I refuse to deny what I believe is right and true and good. I refuse to stand on the corner and point the finger of shame on those that don't believe as I do. I refuse to fall into hypocritical self-righteousness.

I will do everything in my power to be an example of what a Man is for my daughters and sons. I will teach my kids my religious and moral values, so they know where I stand (and why) when it come time for them to make their own choices. I will continue to enjoy who I am, where I live, and why I live the way I do. I will understand that everyone is different. I will believe everyone is a child of God. And by so doing, I will trust that one day the Bed of Procrustes will no longer be used as a means for achieving unity.

City Boy, Rural Dreams

I was dreaming about farms this evening. That is something I haven't done in quite awhile. Not only has owning my first house taken the wind out of my sails a bit, but seeing how nearly incompetent I am when it came to remodling the basement and general house repair almost killed the dream completely.

Not tonight, however.

I told Leslie that I wanted to get some chickens. After she recovered from the panicked, deer-in-the-headlights look, she made a sound that was vaguely reminescent of the tone people use when a stranger starts talking to you and you don't want to talk to a stranger but don't want to seem rude. I'm pretty sure she thought she had married an idiot. Actually, I figure if she is only just figuring that out after 12 years, then I can't be held responsible.

There is actually a city ordinance that regulates (but doesn't forbid) chickens to be raised within the city limits. They also allow bee hives. I want chickens (I'd prefer ducks, but that's a story for another time). I want bees. I want a greenhouse filled with veggies. Actually I want a few acres of some kind of grain. My dad had some of this. Chickens, a cow, sheep, rabbits, a garden, an old beat-up truck.

I have a cat and a minivan. 

And some dead tomato plants.

Unfortunately for me, my dad is a better man than I am. He may not think so, but life has a funny way of making someone not realize they are more important than they think. As I sit in my house (basement still not finished) with my wife and five kids, I look back in complete awe at what my father was able to accomplish. But I'm getting off topic...

Whether or not any of my animal husbandry/agricultural dreams ever come true, it was nice to be able to dream and plot and scheme like that again.

At Home In School, In School At Home

Well, we finally made it official: Mary is going to be homeschooled next year. The others will continue to go to public school, but this really is the best thing for Mary at this point. Why? Well, Mary is 11 and going into 6th grade. She takes after me, academically speaking, than she does Leslie (Mrs. Summa Cum Laude from WSU) - which isn't to say she is struggling as much as I did in school. Still, you add that to the horror of what passes for pre-teen culture in this country these days... I wouldn't mind if all my kids decided to homeschool.

We are using the K12 program and working closely with our school district. Leslie is looking forward to it, Mary is beside herself with excitement, and I wish I could stay home as well to be more involved. This is something that I have always wanted to do with my kids. Something about it just appeals to me.

It is a new experience for us all and I think it will go well (with some expected rough spots at times). And here's a big, fat, "Phhhhbt!" to my kids' current teachers.

The Cone of Shame

I like cats.

Last Thanksgiving we got a cat. It was at a reasonable price too...free. In my opinion, that is the only acceptable price for a cat. I've had a cat before, but it was a completely new experience for the rest of the family.

She was a little female calico kitten (only a couple of months old) who we decided we would name Cali. I generally call it "Dumb Cat" while my wife leans towards "Crazy Cat". I actually do like cats, but I feel its important to try to keep them in their place. We all know they have evil schemes and continuously plot World Domination. I suspect I'm fairly high on the hit list when the goons come around. Actually, I'd fairly confident some of the kids aren't to far behind me, what with the way they maul her sometimes when they come home from school. 

At any rate, we decided to have her fixed last week. Why it is called being "fixed" I'll never know. The vet really isn't "fixing" anything. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure he's doing the exact opposite; our cat is most decidedly "broken." Well, this ball of fuzz came home with a shaved belly and a rather unpleasant expression on her face. When she regained her walking ability, she immediately went under Isaiah's bed to sulk. 

Unfortunately, she started licking the incision site. While that didn't cause any problem with the stiches, it irritated the skin all around and she had to be taken back in today to make sure there was nothing wrong. The vet checked her out, pronounced her clean, and proceeded to outfit her with the Cone of Shame (yes, the capital letters are necessary). 

For those unfamiliar with the Cone of Shame, imagine your pet being turned into a lamp with an inverted lampshade over its head. Actually, Cali looks less like a lamp and more like a tiny, mobile radar system. Watching her walk is rather amusing too. Any chance she can, she rubs along a surface in an attempt to scrape the silly thing off. This was after several failed attempts at sitting upright on her haunches and using both front paws to try to push it up and off.

Even if it didn't serve the purpose of keeping her from licking her wounds, it would still be highly amusing. I am not, however (wink, wink), suggesting that one be put on any animal for the sheer fun of it (wink, wink). That would be Wrong.

I like cats.

Writer's Envy (and my 200th post)

I'm feeling a bit envious today. I don't particularly find my job intellectually stimulating on good days (it pays the bills, barely, and I have quite a bit of freedom, but still...), but I was scanning through a blog written by someone whose writing I really enjoy. She's had articles, stories, plays, a book, etc. published and works for a company that puts a lot of emphasis on creative writing (even if I'm not entirely sure what exactly she does during the day).

I'm not saying I am not appreciative of what I have or want to give up/change my life, but I do have an annoying feeling of envy. One of the reasons I started blogging way back when (200 posts ago!) is because I wanted to be able to have a place to get thoughts from my head into a written form (and I'm a much faster typing than I am with my penmanship).

Ursula K. LeGuin (a favorite author from my childhood) gave two responses to people who asked her how to become a writer. First, learn to type. Second, start writing. By that, she meant just start putting something, anything, down on paper (or on-screen nowadays). A lot of it is going to be terrible, but if you don't start somewhere, you'll never get better and you'll never develop those seeds that are planted deep in your brain.

I spent a good portion of my teenage years writing all kinds of stuff, alone or with my friends. I started slacking off after my first year in college (1992-93) and only in the past few years have I even attempted to start back up. It's not easy. Especially now that I'm older and have a lot more garbage running around upstairs. Not only that, but there is the time issue as well. There are so many things in life that I want/should be doing that it is difficult (impossible) to find time for everything. How much time should I spend on frivolous pursuits that I enjoy when I should be making sure my family is comfortable and my duties are done?

What do I want to be when I grow up? I guess that is the crux of the issue. Too schizophrentic in my pursuits with not enough passion in any one to keep it up for any length of time. To steal/paraphrase a quote from a movie: "It's my lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's my life."

I Really Need More Exercise

...Anyhoo...back on an even keel now...

Middle age is starting to catch up with my middle. It's not bad, mind you, but it certainly isn't great. I've lost a lot of my "tone" over the past decade, even if I haven't put on much weight. There are a couple of new pools being built around town; that might help provide some motivation.

I'm not a complete potato, however. I do take the stairs (up to the 5th floor) every day I go to work. But I really could do more. Blah, blah, blah... I'm a great procrastinator and it's probably going to kill me in another 50 years or so.

...and here's a picture from last summer...enjoy!

Xenophobia in America

Well, besides me potentially (or even highly likely) to be categorized by some in our country as a "right-wing extremist", I do have some issues with some of my fellow conservatives.

Last week, I attended one of those local tax day tea parties (we had a couple thousand show up...not a bad turnout). Overall it was enjoyable. We had some good speakers and a lot of it revolved around constitutional basics. Good stuff. Unfortunately, the whole experience was ruined (for me anyway) by one of the last speakers. I don't know who this woman was or where she came from, but she was so full of hatred and self-righteousness that was truly appalling. She took a rally that had been (up to that point) fairly neutral as far as political parties went and started bashing specific people in the Democratic party and liberals in general.

The low point in the whole deal was when she started going off the handle about President Obama's comment about the USA not being a Christian nation. Now, I'm about as Christian a guy as you'll find (and no fan of Obama), but she was spouting such intolerant crap (generally towards Muslims) that I was embarrassed to even be there. I feel I have a pretty good understanding of was Obama meant (even if he said it in a completely dreadful way) and I understand the reaction to that statement. But come on... If what this lady was saying and what the masses were cheering on went to it's logical conclusion, they would want all Muslims, Jews, Hindi, etc. kicked out of the country (and I KNOW there are a lot of people who don't think my religion is Christian).

Amendment One of the United States Constitution states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." Stick that in your intolerant pipe and smoke it.

And not only that (now that I have my bile up), conservatives (of which I consider myself a strong part of) need to stop turning the illegal immigration issue into such a racist quagmire. Yes, illegal immigration is an problem and should be dealt with (change the current immigration policy we have in this country and enforce the immigration laws with strictness - including slapping those businesses that hire illegals), but I am getting so SICK of people looking down on someone because English isn't their first language.

And that's another thing: English isn't the official language of this country, nor should it be! So what if you have to "Press 1 for English" on your flipping phone whenever you call some big company! I do it every single day at my job. It's not a big deal. Whatever happened to the great promise of this country as summed up by the Statue of Liberty inscription:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

The Native Americans didn't like the Western Europeans when they came over; the Western Europeans didn't like the Eastern Europeans; the Eastern Europeans didn't like the Asians. What a bunch of intolerant crap. Ever hear of the Melting Pot (or perhaps we're more like a Mixed Salad)? If you truly believe we are all children of God, then act like it!

(***big breath***)

...nope, not ready yet...

(***another big breath***)

Government based on the Constitution - now and forever. Leave your personal bigotry in your head. I don't want to hear it.

Woo Hoo! Spring is Back!

(I'm going to ignore the fact that I haven't posted anything in almost a year. Just roll with it...)

So with the warming of the weather (*cough*snowed last week*cough*), I'm getting out and doing some outside work on the house. We have three big outside projects going on right now:

1. Trimming back the foliage that is threatening to topple over and/or grow INTO our house.
   
2. Planting and sprucing up our front flower beds.
   
3. Getting our vegetable garden started (we're doing container gardening where everything is in buckets/pots)

I'll take these one at a time. First off, I can officially say I have pruned the hedges (any "Three Amigos" fans out there?) I bought a pair of huge shears and went to town on the shubbery separating our house from the next-door neighbors. They've been neglected for years, but a little straightening up has done wonders for them.

Also, there is a errant tree planted right in front of our house. I don't particularly like that type of tree, but it does provide a ton of shade to the front window in the summer. Unfortunately, one of the large branches was starting to grow dangerously close to the roof. So, being the manly-man that I am (*cough*), I grab my handsaw (didn't want to buy a chainsaw for just one limb) and proceeded to hack that bad boy off. Once my arm recovered and I regained consciousness from being whacked on the head by a mysterious falling branch, it occurred to me that perhaps I should cut back on the manly pursuits for awhile.

Front yard flower beds:

'Nuff said.

Vegetable gardening is something new to us...kind of. We had a bunch of pots sitting around so we decided to see if we could grow some veggies. We had tomato plants last year, but they were given to us. This year we have tomatoes, leaf lettuce, carrots, zuchinni, bush beans, onions (walla-walla sweets), and strawberries. We'll see what happens...