Writer's Envy (and my 200th post)

I'm feeling a bit envious today. I don't particularly find my job intellectually stimulating on good days (it pays the bills, barely, and I have quite a bit of freedom, but still...), but I was scanning through a blog written by someone whose writing I really enjoy. She's had articles, stories, plays, a book, etc. published and works for a company that puts a lot of emphasis on creative writing (even if I'm not entirely sure what exactly she does during the day).

I'm not saying I am not appreciative of what I have or want to give up/change my life, but I do have an annoying feeling of envy. One of the reasons I started blogging way back when (200 posts ago!) is because I wanted to be able to have a place to get thoughts from my head into a written form (and I'm a much faster typing than I am with my penmanship).

Ursula K. LeGuin (a favorite author from my childhood) gave two responses to people who asked her how to become a writer. First, learn to type. Second, start writing. By that, she meant just start putting something, anything, down on paper (or on-screen nowadays). A lot of it is going to be terrible, but if you don't start somewhere, you'll never get better and you'll never develop those seeds that are planted deep in your brain.

I spent a good portion of my teenage years writing all kinds of stuff, alone or with my friends. I started slacking off after my first year in college (1992-93) and only in the past few years have I even attempted to start back up. It's not easy. Especially now that I'm older and have a lot more garbage running around upstairs. Not only that, but there is the time issue as well. There are so many things in life that I want/should be doing that it is difficult (impossible) to find time for everything. How much time should I spend on frivolous pursuits that I enjoy when I should be making sure my family is comfortable and my duties are done?

What do I want to be when I grow up? I guess that is the crux of the issue. Too schizophrentic in my pursuits with not enough passion in any one to keep it up for any length of time. To steal/paraphrase a quote from a movie: "It's my lot in life. It's not a lot, but it's my life."