Post Birthday Week

Last week was a very bad week for me. There were a lot of reasons for it - none of them worth squat in the grand scheme of things though. I was overly irritable and I generally blew up at the kids for the littlest things. Luckily, my family still loves me and I'm slowly getting over it (the feeling is still there to a degree, but I'm working harder at keeping it in check). I don't want to go into details of my funk because it would be at all helpful and there are just some things that aren't flattering to myself or others. It could be described as one of those dark corners of mortality that, unfortunately, spilled out into the rest of life.

I find it odd that our own perception of who we are is, at times, greatly different from how others perceive us. Iwas talking to Mary about this the other day. We can sit in church and look at a family and think they have it all worked out - nearly perfect in some cases. Then we feel inadequate, imperfect, perhaps even hypocritical at times. That is especially true when we hear from others how "perfect" our own family is. To paraphrase Bugs Bunny: "They don't know us to well, do they?" But it goes the other way too. We can't see what goes on in the homes of others, or in their heads. No one is perfect. No family is perfect. We only see a family on their best behavior for a few hours a week. We only see the outward appearance of a straight A student, or a good singer, or a good dancer (or sometimes all three togehte). It can be disheartening for children and adults.

But something occurred to me today in regards to my children: They may not be the best at anything visible (athletics, singing, grades, etc.) but they are still very young. Before, I would think, "They just need to find something they really enjoy doing." However, in thinking of the response I would most likely get to "What do you enjoy?" I can easily imagine them saying, "Having fun!" And there it is. They don't need to have a hobby or an exlusive interest at this point in their lives, do they? They are still young kids. They need to have fun. And they do. There is still plenty of time for them to figure out what they want to do in life (hopefully they'll figure it out sooner rather than later like me - not that I have figured it out yet mind you).

I guess I worry they are going to be lifetime slackers like me. But, then again, that gets back to my earlier point: They way I see myself isn't the way others see me. Success in life might be more based on the latter rather than the former, so maybe I worry needlessly.